Which is more satisfying: Breaking something or watching someone else break it?
When we sense a job is going wrong, it's easy to act out and make things worse… in the moment, it might feel like it's better to get fired for something we did than to get laid off.
When a partnership hits some bumps, it might be tempting to keep score, push back on everything and get ready to fight… actually causing the change that you fear.
A challenging project, employee or situation sometimes is easier to avoid than it is to work on.
Leaning in is really difficult when you sense that there's nothing to catch you, nothing to work toward. It's a lot easier to act out, sabotage and take control of something that feels out of our control.
Agency is precious, the feeling that we're in control. Where agency backfires is when we get caught in the death spiral of bad actions leading to negative reactions, which cause us to take more bad actions.
Sure, it might break. Anything might. But that doesn't mean you have to be the one to break it.