Worth a try if you think it might help the way you talk to yourself (which is worse, certainly, than the way anyone else talks to you).
Every time you’re sure you’ve blown it, completely blown it, that you’re certain you’re going to get disbarred, fired, demoted—becoming friendless, homeless and futureless—write it down in your Catastrophe Journal.
A simple blank book, always use the same one.
Just a few sentences, that’s all you need. Write down:
- What you did that was so horrible.
- The consequences you expect since the world as you know it is now coming to an end.
Do this every time a catastrophe occurs.
What you’ll find, pretty certainly, is that two things happen:
- You will realize over time that your predictions of doom don’t occur, and
- As soon as you begin writing down the details, the cycle we employ of making the details worse and worse over time will slow and stop.
A month of persistence is usually all you need to begin to break the habit.
It’s not really a catastrophe. It simply feels that way.
July 13, 2018
There aren’t many fundamental human emotions, and shame is certainly one of them.
Shame is usually caused by a collision between our behavior and our culture. Society uses shame to enforce norms and set standards. When you’re alone in the forest, there’s not a lot of shame.
Too often, marketers, politicians and others with money and power use shame as a cudgel, as a harsh tool to gain control. And it’s usually directed at those least able to thrive in the face of this sort of onslaught.
I’m not sure we’d want to live in a culture where shameful behavior is completely accepted, where sociopaths and selfish short-term people abuse our trust.
At the same time, I think we need to be really clear about the difference between shameful behavior and shaming a person.
Shaming a person is a senseless shortcut. When we say to someone, “you’re never going to amount to anything,” when we act like we want to lock them up and throw away the key, when we conflate the behavior with the human–we’ve hurt everyone. We’ve killed dreams, eliminated possibility and broken any chance for a connection.
The alternative is to be really clear about which behavior crossed the line. To correct that behavior at the very same time we open the door for our fellow citizen to become the sort of person we’d like to engage with.
“How dare you,” is a fine way to establish that people like us don’t do things like that. It is a norm-setting device, a clear indication that certain behaviors aren’t welcome and demand explanation.
As the media available to each of us turns just about every interaction into a worldwide, hyper-competitive conflict, there’s way too much shameless posturing and division. If you want to “win” in social media or politics, you’re no longer trying to be the class clown among twenty high school students, you’re racing to the bottom among a hundred million teenagers or candidates. Multiply that by every endeavor and you can see why there’s so much shameless posturing.
Racing to the top is far preferable. Because the problem with a race to the bottom is you might win. Or come in second, which is even worse.
July 12, 2018
This has always been a viable position in the marketplace.
For freelancers of every kind, it remains the best one.
The hard part isn’t charging a lot. The hard part is delivering more than the person paid for.
[I just discovered that I riffed on this three months ago. So, in the spirit of making sure we don’t waste a day, here’s some more on this topic…]
There’s a chasm.
On one hand, there are the endless promises and perfection that are promised by the short-term marketer and the aggressive salesperson.
And on the other, there’s the service provider, freelancer, bureaucrat and hard working frontline worker who’s on defense. Who wants the customer to accept the least, not the most.
One approach is to keep working to survive the chasm. To hype more and apologize later for all that hype.
The other approach, the one I’m hoping you’ll consider, is to charge enough (and then spend that money) to actually keep the big promises you just made.
A race to the top, one that doesn’t happen simply because you announced you’re going to try harder. It happens because you invest in training, staff and materials to make it likely you can actually keep that promise.
July 11, 2018
The world was a twitch away from total nuclear destruction. White bread was a health food. Diabetes and obesity were relatively rare. The newspaper was the way most people heard about the news. We thought things were moving very fast, frighteningly fast. Women rarely worked outside the home, and the Rev. King was a relatively unknown preacher. No one owned a computer. The number of books published every year was quite small, as was the local bookstore. It was almost impossible to spend more than 45 minutes a day keeping up with current events. It was against the law for blacks and whites to marry in Virginia, and for gay couples to marry just about anywhere. Apartheid was mostly unremarked upon in the US. UPS never came to your house. A long-distance phone call was a big deal.
Air conditioning was rare, bottled water hadn’t been invented yet, there were no billionaires, there were three or four channels of TV, movies were only shown in movie theaters, most dangerous diseases would certainly kill you. The air and water were clean, but we were working overtime to make them dirty. Congress wasn’t a version of pro wrestling. Milk came in only one formulation (whole), you probably worked at the same company for a very long time and relatively few people went to college.
And 58 years from now, when, actuarially, most of us will still be around, what will things be like then? Slower? Apparently more stable? Based on skills we have today?
There is no normal. Simply the relentless cycle of change.
Today’s as good a day as any to dedicate your birthday to helping someone in more dire straits than most of us can even imagine. Thanks to you, there are thousands (thousands!) of people who are alive today, alive and healthy, because you, the readers of this blog, showed up for them.
Also, before the day is out, why not start a project?
There is no normal, but we can always work to make things better.
July 10, 2018
Here’s a hint: your work might not be what you think it is.
A doctor might think her job is to cure diseases.
But in fact, that’s not what gets and keeps patients. The cure is a goal, and it’s important, but it’s not sufficient.
The technical tasks are important, but the work involves more than that.
Doctors who contribute to the academic community, are personable, take a moment to bring emotional labor to their patient, invest in staff and training and put their office in a medical crossroads always do better than doctors who don’t.
And the same thing is true for the web designer who thinks the job is merely typing good code, or the restaurant owner who’s merely focused on the food. That’s important, but there’s more to the work than what’s in the typical job description
Doing your job is not always the same as doing the work. The “soft stuff” might matter more than you think. Doing the work is the ticket you buy for the privilege of doing the other part.
July 9, 2018
The unskilled cost accountant might suggest you outfit your new hotel with cheap shower curtains. After all, if you save $50 a room and have 200 rooms, pretty soon, we're talking real money.
On the other hand, experience will demonstrate that cheap shower curtains let the water out, causing a minor flood, every day, room after room. And they wear out faster. Cheap shower curtains aren't actually cheap.
Productivity pays for itself.
Once you start looking for metaphorical cheap shower curtains, they're everywhere.
July 8, 2018
If you state that force equals mass times acceleration, it shouldn’t matter who is measuring the force, or whether it’s Tuesday or not. Those factors aren’t part of your rules, and they shouldn’t vary the outcome.
Much of what passes for absolute statements of truth in our society are actually momentary statements of opinion. And the giveaway: It depends on who’s acting. It’s wrong when they do it, right when we do it. Which means it’s opinion, not a basic principle.
It turns out that organizations and systems are more reliable, more efficient and more professional when they’re operated on principles that are actually true.
July 7, 2018
We often talk about how slow they are.
But the speed isn’t the point. The fjord near my house, surrounded by huge cliffs, was formed by a glacier. Not because it was slow, but because it was large, clearly directed and relentless.
Glacial organizations are that rare combination of all three. Hard to stand in their way. They require patience to build, but repay that patience in long-term results.
If someone calls you ‘glacial’, it might be a compliment.
July 6, 2018
Seven years ago, I shared a secret about juggling:
Throwing is more important than catching. If you’re good at throwing, the catching takes care of itself. Emergency response is overrated compared to emergency avoidance.
It’s as true as it ever was, and it’s not just about juggling. In fact, it’s hardly about juggling.
We spend most of our time in catching mode. In dealing with the incoming. Putting out fires. Going to meetings that were called by other people. Reacting to whoever is shouting the loudest.
But if we learn a lesson from jugglers, we realize that the hard part isn’t catching, it’s throwing. Learn to throw, to initiate, to do with care and you’ll need to spend far less time worrying about catching in the first place.
[Out this week, the latest episode of Akimbo. You can subscribe for free.]
July 5, 2018
Often mis-characterized as a day of independence.
What actually matters is what you’re going to do with it.
It turns out that if you have the power to make rules, the rules are your responsibility.
If you have the freedom to make choices, the choices are your responsibility.
And if you have the ability to change the culture, to connect with others, to make a ruckus, then yes, what you do with that is your responsibility as well.
Doing nothing is a choice. The thing you didn’t say, the project you didn’t launch, the hand you didn’t lend…
But whatever we do, if we have the independence to do it (or not) it’s our responsibility.
July 4, 2018
