Here’s a self-description from esnips: FubarSam’s Profile. (Thanks, Adam)

Im a mediocre looking guy who has very little going on. I work at Tiger Express Wash in Columbia Missouri.  I make six bucks an hour and a little bit of tips each day to pay for gas and smokes. I live in a Single Wide Mobile home that I own. I am married now for almost 11 years.  I am going bald and I am overwieght somewhat.  I  dont drink anymore because I am an idiot when I do.  So I have not drank since 97.  I lived most of my 20s and 30s in the Missouri Department of Corrections.  I was a failure at being a criminal so I decided to change and try a different path.  I stay home.  I dont go out.  I pay my bills.  I appreciate what I got.  I sing and record music.  Other than that, I am about as interesting as an empty sheet of paper.