The world’s worst toaster

We recently acquired what might be the worst toaster in the history of the world. It’s pretty fancy and shiny and microprocessor controlled. And it makes toast.

But here’s what I have to do to use it:

  1. Choose the number of slices, and bagel or bread.
  2. Remember whether it counts the slices from the left or the right (the left).
  3. Insert the bread.
  4. Push down the handle.
  5. Choose toast or defrost.
  6. Make sure the darkness level is right. (This doesn’t count, because it usually is).
  7. Press on.
  8. Wait till it beeps.
  9. Lift the handle I pressed in #4.
  10. Turn it off.

Most toasters, of course, consist of steps 3 and 4 only.

I thought about this when I got a note from eBay asking me to pay my bill for an item I sold last month. It says:

To view your invoice and make a payment:
1. Go to and click "My eBay" at the top of most eBay pages. You will need to sign in.
2. Click the "Seller Account" link (beneath "My Account" on the left side of the page).
3. Click the "View invoices" link, and then select the invoice you want to view from the pull-down menu.
4. To make a payment, click the "make a one-time payment" link in the "eBay Seller Fees" section.

It took me more than 11 clicks to send them $6.

The opportunity online is to fix your toaster. When you want to make toast, the site should get out of the way and let you make toast.