Years ago, before I wrote Purple Cow, purple was just another color, sitting in the back rows with orange and teal and magenta. The success of that book transformed the way the color was treated, and I watched with surprise and then delight as more and more of the world embraced the notion of purpleness.
At some point, though, creation needs to be rewarded. Writing is a lonely and risky endeavor, and if people are able to blithely take the work of another, we'll soon run out of writers.
Add to this problem the rampant linking that goes online. People are always linking to this blog, for example, without asking first. Not to mention those that might discuss one of my books in a meeting (at a profit-making business, no less!) without permission or payment of royalties.
That's why today (appropriately) I'm reporting the results of several lawsuits I quietly filed over the last year. My lawyers were able to trademark the terms Purple® and Purple Cow®, and beyond that, to get a design patent on the idea of using Purple® in the marketing of a product.
Several entities have already reached a settlement with my firm. On the international front, Radojka Glavonjić, a farmer in Serbia, is paying an ongoing royalty for publicity and endorsements surrounding her new calf. (Worth noting that it's a bull, actually).
We were unable to reach a settlement with Prince Rogers Nelson, but he has agreed to retitle his hit song Bluish Red Rain.
For those that might accuse me of overreaching, please consider that we took no action at all against this Purple® squirrel.
Critics will be pleased to know that we are granting the US Army a royalty-free license to continue calling it a Purple® Heart.
PS by reading this post, you agree to the shrinkwrap license and terms and conditions that have become used by some in the industry, and thus agree not to use the word Purple® in any conversation or memo or text or tweet without sending me one simoleon each time you do.
I know that you, my loyal readers, will support me as I continue to pursue a fair and honest settlement with others that seek to profit from my insights and risk taking. It is, after all, the only way I can produce this blog without selling a significant number of ads. Though I may add the advertisements anyway, because more is better.
[This was my April Fool's joke for 2012, though those that don't get the joke probably won't read this far before emailing me…]