The narcissism of minor differences
Really?
You're arguing about that trivial difference between us?
Substantive disagreement is rarely the issue that splits tribes, destroys thriving groups or wastes time at meetings. Instead, it's our desire to carve out a little space for ourselves in a group that seems to agree on almost everything.
The work is too important to sidetrack about the things we disagree on.
Point out this narcissism when you see it and move on to the important stuff, to amplifying the things we agree on.
[HT to Ernest Crawley who has one of the coolest resumes ever. And then appropriated by Freud.]