On being irritated

Irritation is a privilege.

It's the least useful emotion, one that we never seek out.

People in true distress are never irritated. Someone who is hungry or drowning or fleeing doesn't become irritated.

And of course, irritation rarely helps us get what we need.

Irritation clouds our judgment, frustrates our relationships and gets our priorities all wrong.

Irritation tries to persuade us that it's justified, but it merely pushes us away from what we actually need.

In order to be irritated, we need to believe we're not getting something we deserve. But of course, that expectation is the cause of the irritation. We can choose to lose the expectation, embracing the fact that we're lucky enough to feel it, and then get back to work doing something generous instead.

It turns out that irritation is a privilege and irritation is a choice.