You connect with someone.
But you exert power over someone.
You can dance and communicate and engage with a partner. It's a two way street, a partnership.
On the other hand, you either exert control over someone, or you are under their control. If you want to be an Olympic wrestler, you need to be comfortable (not necessarily in favor of, but willing to live with) the idea that you will spend time under.
For thousands of years, we've built our culture to teach people to not only tolerate a powerful overlord, but in a vacuum, to seek one out. We build school around the idea of powerful teachers, coaches and authority figures telling us what to do. We go to the placement office to seek a job, instead of starting our own thing, because we've been taught that this is the way it works, it's reliable, it's safer.
And so we're pushed to begin with under, not with.
The connection economy begins to undermine this dynamic. But it's frightening. It's frightening to have your own media channel, your own platform, your own ability to craft a community and 1,000 true fans. So instead, we seek out someone to tell us what to do, to trade this for that.
I think it's becoming clear that power doesn't scale like it used to. Too many unders and not enough withs.
But, each of us can change our perspective, as soon as we're ready.
Find your with.