Make two lists
On one list identify the grievances, disrespects and bad breaks:
- People who don't like you.
- Deals that went wrong.
- Unfair expectations.
- Bad situations.
- Unfortunate outcomes.
- Unfairness.
It's all legitimate, it's all real. Don't hold back.
On the other list, write down the privileges, advantages and opportunities you have:
- The places where you get the benefit of the doubt.
- Your leverage and momentum.
- The things you see that others don't.
- What's working and what has worked.
- The resources you can tap.
- The things you know.
- People who trust you.
Now, take one list and put it in a drawer. Take the other list and tape it up on your bathroom mirror. Read the list in the drawer once a month or once a year, just to remind you that it's safe and sound. Read the other list every day.
The daily list will determine what you notice, how you interpret what you see and the story you tell yourself about what's happening and what will happen.
You get to pick which list goes where.
Picking your list is possibly the most important thing you'll do all day.