Most of our errors are in this category.
Yesterday, The New York Times sent this newsletter to a million people or so:
I’m sure it wasn’t the best part of the day (or the week) for whoever messed up, but I also know that it had little impact on anything that matters.
Being careful is smart.
Being perfect is unattainable, and seeking perfection is a trap.
It’s tempting to hand it to other people. If someone else takes the blame, if they accept the responsibility, then we get satisfaction and we’re off the hook.
Alas, this doesn’t work unless the others do the taking and do the accepting.
Which is unlikely. We’re giving power to someone who isn’t going to use it to make our day better.
It’s far more predictable and reliable to simply take it ourselves. At least that way, we can do something with it.
This simple shift gives us power and authority over our narrative. It helps us avoid wasting time on wishes and ever more ornate arguments about our version of things.
What can you build now that you have everything under your control?
Why is that?
The new diet. The fundraising after a natural disaster. The relationship. The hype cycle of a new technology or the media frenzy around a hot new fad or candidate…
It always feels like it will be different this time.
It rarely is.
If it’s going to be different, the forces involved need to be different as well.
Fear is self-focused. Day to day, our fear is about us. What will happen if we give that speech, launch that project, get stuck in traffic, are eaten by an alligator…
And generosity is about others. “How can I help?”
Jumping in the water to save a struggling swimmer stops us from worrying about how we look in our suit or whether the water is cold. And if you’re worried about the customer instead of your quota, making a sales call is easier too.
The key scene at the climax of the Wizard of Oz happens when Dorothy intercedes on the scarecrow’s behalf. Once again, she finds the courage to overcome her fear when she’s generously supporting a friend.
It’s more than a shift in narrative. It’s a shift in intent.
Courage is a generous act that involves risk.
It’s not courageous to hang out with friends and make a crank phone call.
The risk involved might be actual risk (it took courage to go to the moon) or it might feel risky (raising your hand at a meeting to ask a useful question probably has no real downside but it feels that way).
Too often, we get hung up on how risky it feels, and fail to focus enough on how generous the work is. Generosity is a great antidote to fear.
