When I was a kid, I wanted this product more than anything in the whole world.
Of course, when you got it, you discovered that all the glasses could see through was your right hand. (I’ll let you figure out how that worked).
So technically, the ad was “true.” Of course, the real deal was:
1. it fit the goals of a pre-adolescent (power, peeping tom, magic)
2. it fit the worldview that great things were available for not a lot of money, usually by mail if you knew what to get
3. when you got it, you felt ripped off, but realized that a) you could fool your friends and b) the wait was great… you were really buying anticipation.
April 12, 2005
I was in the supermarket last week, talking to some journalists about lying. We were talking about the fact that bottled water costs more than gasoline, and that some brands cost two or three times as much as others. They suggested doing a blind taste test–pouring one of each into a glass and seeing if people could tell the difference.
Big mistake! This is the same mistake that the Pepsi Challenge forced the poor shmoes at Coke into making.
The reason it’s a mistake is that in real life, there’s almost never anything that’s really blind. You know what container that beverage came from. You know whether the table has a white linen cloth on it–or whether you’re at a luncheonette. You can see the look in the doctor’s eyes when she talks to you. You can sense the confidence of the sales rep whens he brings the latest advance in ball bearing technology to your office.
Blind taste tests take the arrogant position that there is some sort of truth. I don’t think there is.
No, the right taste test to do is not Brand X vs. Nationally Advertised Brand in unmarked glasses. The right test is to switch the contents but keep the labels. How does that water taste in this bottle?
April 11, 2005
Here’s a neat way to invent a new Purple Cow.
Figure what the always is. Then do something else.
Toothpaste always comes in a squeezable tube.
Business travelers always use a travel agent.
Politicians always have their staff screen their calls.
Figure out what the always is, then do exactly the opposite. Do the never.
A few fascinating facts about the Catholic church and the College of Cardinals (who pick the next pope).
1. one third of all the world’s Cardinals are over 80 years old.*
2. 17% of the Cardinals are from Italy, but only 5% of the world’s Catholics are.
3. 18% of the Cardinals are from Latin America, while 43% of the Catholics are.
Most organizations want to grow. Virtually all religions do. What happens, though, when your worldview and biases are so different from the places you’re hoping to grow?
(*Two updates here since I posted this yesterday. First, since about 1970, the oldest Cardinals–over 80–don’t vote on the Pope. Second, just to be clear, I’m trying to use the Church as an example for every organization in the world… I actually have no desire to give the Vatican marketing advice! It’s worth noting, though, that in the last hundred years or so, they’ve made enormous changes. For example, in the 1800s, the percentage of Italian Cardinals was three times higher than it is today.)
April 10, 2005
This is the new Mercedes Benz museum. If a car is just a car, a utilitarian device to get us from one place to another cheaply, quickly and safely, then why would Mercedes need a museum?
Of course, that’s not what a car is. A car is a symbol, a story… yes, it’s a lie. It’s an amalgamation of the identity of the maker and the purchaser and it says an enormous amount about who we are. The same thing is true about the mp3 player you wear, the cell phone you use and, yes, the insurance company you choose.
The best marketers craft these stories carefully, knowing that this is what people are actually buying. So, if you were trying to make something museum-worthy, what would you do now?
Michael Rich, ace Florida real estate developer, writes to me about HALO’s. These are the Harbor Hills Active Lifestyle Operatives. Here’s a photo.
Michael keeps their photo on display in the sales office. When a prospect asks about them, he uses it as an opportunity to introduce the women to a prospective neighbor. Not only does it sell condos, but it makes it fun to be proud of the neighborhood. It also helps keep the grouchy tenants away–because they realize he’s selling a community, not just a place to sit and whine.
April 8, 2005
The brilliant John McWade completely understands my new book, and he hasn’t read it yet. In the editor’s column of the new issue of Before And After (print only, but check out freebies at (link: Before & After, the magazine for graphic design) he writes,
“Think of it this way. If I ask to see a picture of your dormmate, what are you going to show me? Not a snapshot of Condoleezza Rice. Not a Picasso. Not some visual concept of yours. What you’ll show me is a real photo, what she actually looks like.
If she’s dressed for a date, she’ll be more presentable than if she just yawned her way out of a sleeping bag, but it’s still her.”
I’d add, “no, of course, it’s not her. It’s a picture of her. And no picture can ever, ever tell the truth.”
Until after you look at this site and see what Lori has done to the dog collar.
(warning: double entrendre alert).
High Maintenance Bitch – Creator of the Dog Boa.
PS as far as I can tell, this is a HUGE financial success. Not a hobby, but a multi-million dollar a year business that creates canine joy wherever it goes.
It’s been quite a week for disrespect. And it’s only Thursday.
Half of my incidents have been business-to-business situations. The other half occurred in places where I was just a consumer.
Looking back, I’m really sort of amazed by two things: First, how visceral the feeling is when I feel as though I’ve been disrespected, and second, how easy it would be to avoid.
Let me be clear about a definition here: disrespect is in the eye of the beholder. It occurs when someone feels slighted, or demeaned, or undervalued or lied to. There is no absolute measurement, and, because it’s relative, people will surely disagree about whether or not it has occurred at all.
Doesn’t matter. If you feel disrespected, then you were.
#1. Just spent two hours at the doctor’s office. An entire hour was spent in a little room, waiting. No updates, no apologies, nothing. Even after the doctor finally arrived, for him it was as though the long long wait didn’t even happen. Then, when I nicely asked to talk to the office manager on my way out, she took a phone call instead.
#2. I spent nine months negotiating a deal with a company where I’ve had a long and fruitful relationship. This project was going very, very slowly, and not because I was slowing it down. I’d been patient and flexible and was working it through the system. Two days ago, I got an email. It said, in its entirety, "Unfortunately, this is getting way too complex and not worth the effort for either of us. I know that we keep trying to make this work (for months now!) but it’s not working for either side. So, I think we should let this go and part friends."
There have been four others, just like this. I realized what they all had in common:
All the other person had to do was use a one or two sentences and the whole thing would have been fine. Almost all the instances of disrespect didn’t have to do with the substance of the transaction, it was the style of it. If the person had accepted some responsibility and acknowledged how I might feel, the outcome wasn’t really a big deal.
"I’m really sorry you had to wait. Mr. Wilson’s eardrum exploded and we’re doing everything we can to help him."
"I know you worked long and hard to make this deal work, but we just can’t figure it out. I’m so sorry we wasted your time."
It’s really simple: most of the time, most of your customers will cut you slack if you just acknowledge that the outcome isn’t the one they (think they) deserve.
People have a hard time with this. If someone feels as though they’re treating you technically correctly, they don’t want to apologize. They don’t want to acknowledge the feelings of the other side. This is awfully short-sighted. These are words that are worth thousands and thousands of dollars in lost sales and word of mouth.
"You must feel terrible about what happened. I know I do. If there were any way I could figure out how to make this better for you, I’d do it." When isn’t that a true statement when you’re dealing with an unhappy customer?
April 7, 2005
Every year, millions of Jews celebrate Passover by cleaning out their food cabinets and buying special “kosher for passover” foods. These are items that are made in a rabbi-inspected facility. They can’t contain corn or wheat or various leavening agents (that’s why kosher for passover Coke tastes better–no corn syrup).
This leads to one of my favorite seasonal lies. The supermarkets that sell Passover foods (very high margin, by the way) often line their shelves with doilies or white paper. Now, let’s think about this for a minute–what contamination exactly is the doily protecting the food from? Here’s a sterile, canned item, sitting atop a perforated doily, which is on top of a shelf that is presumably washed every once in a while.
Obviously, it’s not the doily. It’s the story behind the doily. It’s the story of a clean start, of something fresh. The same story that the food itself tells, a story that resonates with the worldview of the person who’s shopping for this.
Most existing organizations don’t spend nearly enough time worrying about this subtle sort of story.
